This was such a Beautiful and inspiring word and flow of a young man it ALWAYS reignites me to write poetry every time I hear it so I had to share it as First peace because it such a Inspiration A Shadow of a doubt (Spoken words)
I remember my little niece ran up to me, and told me we learned about Jesus today, and I could tell by her smile that she was so exited to learn about this Man that she did not quite know yet, but she knew without a doubt for it to be true cause after all mommy said so, that was the first time in my life that I looked into the eyes of a child and envied them because she had now idea what it feels like to doubt what it feels like to have your entire believe system overload with skepticism, to never know the day that you will finally be able to live beyond a shadow of a doubt, I've lived in its darkness for so long, it seems like i have all the right questions but never enough answers and my faith is small enough to fit in the cracks of my palms, God, every night i lay my head down to sleep the city of my mind is attacked by a lesson of questions threatening the living room of my sanity, And holding them hostage can You help me?Â
Last year my grandmother laid in a hospital bed like a bus stop waiting for God to come pick her up, I've never seen such pain and confidence living in the same eyes when she told me I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know who I belong to, and I was so happy for her, an something inside me wished that before she passed away she could pass down her confidence in Got to me like an old family picture I remember sitting in a back row of a cold sanctuary crying cause I desperately wanted what the preacher was saying to be true but my doubts were preaching a sermon of their own and the streams of my tears turned in to a ocean of frustration I remember sitting in a collage classroom and the only thing being tested is my faith in God, the only thing passing is my hope, me and a backpack full of fear and nowhere to go, no one to help me unpack I sleep but I never rest, these lines around my eyes are not wrinkles they are maps to show you the winding roads that lead to my pain, I'm tired, and I'm longing for the day that I can place my fingers in His nail pierced hands because honestly I've consider quitting but where will I go back? There is no home for the living in the land of the dead so i keep pressing forward, today I have faith but I can't make any promises about tomorrow, I'm surprised I've held on this long, God just make me feel like I'm not crazy, God let me know that I'm not just making friends with these walls when I'm praying, I'm not questioning you, I just have questions don't leave me here Don't leave me!!!! My Child when it seems like you have all the right questions but never enough answers and your faith is small enough to fit in the cracks of your palms, I told you faith the size of mustard seeds, can rearrange whole landscapes and turn mountains into open highways, faith comes by my word maybe you have cuffed your ears My child don't be childish but consider the child's faith that has not quite learned the definition of impossible, have your questions, I'm not telling you to have blind faith I'm telling you to consider the blind men who had faith and believed My word even before they were able to see Me, consider the birds that eat from My hands and do not fall from the sky without My consent, so how much more will I love the ones I died for? Before you doubt Me doubt your doubts, and you will see they are just as empty as the grave I walked from, the truth is You know I'm here, You know My truth and your scared of what that means, scared of what that should cost you that one day they will all laugh at you, laugh you right out of their class rooms and scone you out of their court rooms but My love serves as a eviction notice to anxiety when they cast stones, My love cast out fear I am the alpha and finisher of your faith I have never started a work I will not finish, I am the One who will give you courage to stare death in the face and say how dare you try to scare me, I know who I belong to, and when it feels like you are droning in a see of your questions just know I'm there like when I drowned in the red sea of My blood for you, and these hands that took holes they will hold you, and when I told you I will love you forever I meant it don't you see the rings in My hands we are married, for better or worse, through sickness and health, through faith and through questions.Â
Till death brings us closer You are Mine and I am Yours I promise