This was interesting and I thought that this was a interesting topic of discussion to press upon.
Do you not kiss while you wait for marriage?
Currently the big things is WAITING for marriage to have sex, and being celibate till you walk down the isle.
But this new thing I am seeing going around the Christian community is taking it a step further and not only not having sex… but not kissing at all either.
When I first heard this I had to think about it like ‘No wait seriously your making me wait all this time to get in a relationship with a god ordained husband and then you’re telling me I can’t kiss him’ as well I would also believe that with the way people are in society today waiting to kiss till the wedding is LUDACIOUS to most people.
They are willing to compromise on sex but they need that kissing to feel like they are at least connecting in some way with them somewhere.
But think about it, if you have issue with self control in that area maybe kissing isn’t advisable because if you kiss that could trigger you to go a bit further. Go from a peck to a French kiss then the next thing you know your making out on the coach for a while and what comes next…
So I can get how kissing can be a gate way to throwing your celibacy out the window.
Kissing is considered to be foreplay – before play = (sex) and that exactly what it is and if you look it up scientifically. When we kiss there is signal sent off by the brain to the body to secrete a pheromone (under the arm pits) and through your glands that is aphrodisiac that turns the body on.
So it’s a proven fact kissing is the first form of physical communication that will lead to sex,
Now waiting
Waiting tis the general principle of waiting to have sex before marriage which is simply Not having sex before you get married.
Now a lot of people have struggles with this because of the fact that truth of the matter is a lot of us like to use sex as a quick fix to our problems,
have a fight – lets have sex (discuss the issue in bed after when our heads are clear) get frustrated – have sex with your partner to forget about the issue (issue will still be there when you get up from the bed)
society has created a whole lane for it “Angry sex” have music about it - Toni Braxton and baby face (Sweat) - Mya “Why I wanna fight” - Ne- yo “Love it when you’re mad”
And see when your removing physical connection from the relationship your actually forced to deal with each other like adults.
When sex and kissing isn’t in the picture you will find out REALLY fast weather you can handle dealing with each other in a relationship because you don’t have the blocks that you would with physical distraction because you’re not kissing.
Some say they get into more arguments because they aren’t kissing and having sex. I will say this I never have been in a relationship that during the duration sex wasn’t being had I ever had to deal with arguments. (but then again the relationship I was in the guy was getting it from some else LONG STORY)
But when you are in a relationship and you really care and want the relationship you will have disagreements and you will have to make adjustments, and the issue is you just need to talk it out instead of getting into arguments about and in that time keep God close. (because just because you got the man don’t think god won’t test your convictions about said man “Lord givith and lord takeith away”) god may give you the man but before you get marriage he feel your starting to idolize that man don’t think he won’t pull you two apart for a month if he sees your focusing more on that man then him. If the man is godly he will push you back to god when he see you focusing more on him to… because he got a job to do in the world to doesn’t mean it stops when he meets you, and you got a job to do in the world as well.
It’s a time frame your adjusting your walks with god as you learn to balance each other and god together as one, so in the courtship time it actually could be beneficial to not kiss till you get married because you spend more time focusing on finding out about each other… blending your spiritual walk together understanding how your purposes meld together and understanding each other.
Because sometimes let’s say if your younger than your partner, you have to learn how to understand someone that is of a different maturity level then you, and allowing your partner to lead you by the time you get done with ALL of that sorting out each other’s baggage and figuring out that yes you can handle getting marriage if your focused the marriage will get there so fast you’ll look up and your engaged and then you’ll look up and your married.
All courtship is putting your money where your mouth is when you said in your single season ALL these things you were going to do when you got in the relationship and the courtship is testing to see if you will stay centered on god and not allow that relationship to control you.
So would you be willing to wait to kiss on top of waiting to have sex?
I will say this if you have had to wait A LONG time for sex and you feel heavy chemistry with the person and if you think a kiss will trigger to much… you know the answer.
If you don’t and you think it’s okay you can have a peck on the check or lips, (now don’t go crazy with the French kissing with tongue and all)
But if you have to wait till marriage there are other things that you can do other then kissing to let the person know your into them, holding hands. To you realize the way a person
caress you hands can be even more intimate then a kiss because of how they do it, you can sit snuggled up with each other but be careful of how you sit and how snuggled up you are.
But you know something I think it can be a good thing because if you learn to show touching support of person even when you are argument you touch the person clasp your hand with there’s and talk through the issue together then you, you both know your there for each other… that simple touch in the midst of a conflict could actually keep you both open to each other and aware not to hurt each other as you’re talking it out.
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