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Writer's pictureTajma Cameron

Five Ingredient Fudge

Updated: Dec 3, 2018

Create a blog post subtitle that summarizes your post in a few short, punchy sentences and entices your audience to continue reading.


Dear Lord {I LOVE}


Lets have a real moment, A really real Moment, some times i feel Like praising you with all the gratitude i have in me and every time i open my mouth there are not enough words to say that will show you what it is that Love truly is to you... I actually on't know enough words to express what I want to say.


Have you ever felt what it's like that love that makes you feel like your loved and surrounded with a blanket that feel like the most secure warm it's not a physical feeling it's a spiritual feeling that falls over you that you just find the true peace of the lord and how do you express that gratitude for that form of love some times I feel like I shouldn't even praise you because i can't get the words out because i just keep saying the same thing.


some times i feel like when i praise like i'm saying


"Luv ya... you know"


that's the way it feels, and if you don't know how to express it how do you say it... it's funny, I think of my husband and I think of how would I continue after time has gone by be able to TELL him I still love him... that what this feel like and not being able to express the words correctly.


I am a writer and I son't know how to express love to you the way I truly desire it, so when you say praise i feel like i;m in disobedience because i can't find THAT place of praise that I truly want to find... they always say praise and worship hims sing the song praise him.


but I actually don't think that truly does you enough justice god.... are we being real here I'm just saying, I want to be able to express that love in words for you that you GET it.... I wonder if I'm explaining myself correctly Lord... I wonder if you understand my true struggles, I can never get mad at you because my anger is not kindled at you it's at the warfare I endure for you but I still love you and i still trust you and i still want to see what it would be to make you happy... at the end of the day my husband will be someone you will send into my life to show me a physical representation of what your love is for me and me him.


and I can't know that without first understanding what that feels like with YOU, and the love is there so what is the block


is it that i haven't been exposed to more

is it something i am holding on to that won't allow me to worship you to the level that the others do

is it i don't know the words


I have been hearing lately that all you really want is for us to tell you the REAL deal be honest with you, because if we can't be TRULY honest with you

we can't with yourself

or anyone else we claim to love


someone once said "the way you do one thing is the way you do everything"


well I love you lord and i just don't know how to truly come to you and express that love so all I know how to do is tell you I love you and it just doesn't seem like that is enough


you are a great GOD


no man is anything like you, not even the best man.... not even your boy job, and he loved you to go through ALL he went through and he STILL loved you he was blameless in your eyes, still no man is good enough, because they still struggle and have to call on you so lord,


we can't thank you

nore praise you enough


even if i could find the words because even your words says "you can do exceedingly abundantly more then we could ask or think, so no matter how I think of expressing my love it will never be greater then the way you feel or think we can't think of it because our brain capacity just don't have enough space but your thoughts are endless and infinite and because of that you could think of new words for love if we mangee to figured out the extent of our world way of expressing love to you or anyone


your heart is bigger then anything we could think of, so when we feel pain for the things that pain you it's just a percentage of what you feel towards that issue because if we carried the true weight of your burden of those things you have called us to, we would actually DIE because the weight would be like carrying a ten trillion pound burden and that weight would drive us insane, just hearing the prophets speak of what it's like to come under the annointing and get trapped in it and it lay them out and beg to come out because thay can't carry it because it's JUST TO BIG.


so there is no way of understanding the truthiness of your love


Nor the pain... like the moment when Wendy tor up your word and tried to throw it in the trash and i heard you clearly say "that's how i feel about every person that doesn't want me" because i was shocked and appalled that anyone would dare do that to your word it like they were taring at you and I felt it it's like watching your child be writted limb from limb.


and for you it is, because Jesus was the word manifested in a human body and he received the Crucifixion.


some times i wonder what it felt like to you to see your child brutally beaten and killed like that and to not help, did you cry seeing it happen but watched on anyway because the brutality was for a cause and he would be back shortly at your side, and in some ways i feel like you watching him be beaten you felt every low too, because he was you breathed into a human body, you came down for that experience


your spirit was tethered to his body and you felt it all but the thing is you always felt it ALL you feel ALL the pain that goes on in this world and to you the pain he went through and he felt was the same pain you felt for the otrcites of the world.


yet the people just like the on lookers that looked at your son die caring more about his royal clothes then the pain he went though, is what those that doesn't except you do


they look on at your people. laugh at our pain but reach out a hand to take your blessing like they have a right or deserve it... they don't love you you, but you still love them like a child that parent kepts treating them like they are lesser then dirt but they come back and hug there mom and dad because they just want mom and dad to love them and feel the security of knowing they love them. and would keep going back and keep going back.


that why your love runs so deep...

your pain


so how can i find the words to praise you God after ALL that


there is no way... to know that


Lord so when I say I love you I truly mean it with a different kind of love.... a love that is different like when

you love a friend different then you love your husband, your mom your child.


this is a different love, but still so strong


Love


OH god I LOVE you


if i didn't love you I would have left so LONG ago when the war fair got bad the first time, but i stayed because i love you still in the same,

through the pain.... I LOVE you

through the hurt ....I love you

through the lose.... I still Love you

through everything.... I'm still here and i still love you.


remove coach Livi

Jolynne Whittaker

Apostle Youngblood

Ruckins & Ruddeco

and every person of the gospel you sent into my life.


I love you when I had no access to them, I still love you... Love


that the greatest love.... to love YOU,

Husband can fail because he's lower then you and he will always prove that he is human and weak, because your holding him up.


so lord I think you for loving me

Loving who you want me to love and pray for


I love you lord

Thank you lord

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